Post by Ze Flying Wraithetti Monstress on Nov 9, 2009 0:43:40 GMT -5
Those Surdans really knew how to make good grog.
I was fully and completely lost, in every possible sense of the word. Here I was, drunk off my arse, lost somewhere dark and smelly in the middle of the night. At least, it had been night when I’d wandered inside. And it probably still was. Hopefully. I believed I was still in Borromeo Castle, home of the big cheese of the Varden, King Orrin, which I’d arrived in earlier today in order to deliver some stupid espionage reports. Then, bored, I’d wandered into a guard barracks, shared some alcohol, and played ‘Pin the Tail on the Galby’ for several hours until I got booted out by the captain when he’d arrived around sunset. Then I’d wandered around here for a bit. I remembered long passages, stairs that I’d tripped and crashed down, and glaring guards, but that was it. Now I was just bored. And still drunk. So I continued to wander, lost in some kind of daydream of my old pirating days.
“You!” A gruff male voice broke into my thoughts, startling me out of my reverie. It was followed by a rough clap on the shoulder. “And just where do you think you’re going, boy? Especially with that sledgehammer. Hmm?”
“Eh?” I twisted to face the man. It was a guard, dressed in bright purple, his face ghoulish-looking in the light that his torch cast.
“Don’t tell me you’re here to try out the eggs at this hour.”
Mmm… eggs. It struck me how hungry I was. I could use a nice scrambled egg right now. Or better yet, a cheese omelette. My stomach rumbled at the thought.
“Ya better feckin’ beh-leeb it, digger,” I hiccupped. “They’re why I’m bloody in ‘ere. They’re the only reason I’m in ‘ere. I beh-leeb I’m obliged to try out these eggs of yers. Lead me to ‘em, and I will try them until there ain’t no more to try. Savvy?”
He stared at me with his head tilted, his eyebrows raised, and his mouth slightly open. He seemed to be having some sort of internal struggle.
“Ya stupid or somethin’?” I snapped. He sighed.
“Well, considering how long we’ve gone without a new Rider… go down this hall, and turn left twice. At the end of that hall, you’ll see a big pair of doors with two soldiers standing guard. The eggs are behind those doors. Knock yourself out, kid.”
I smugly saluted him and turned away, marching stiffly down the corridor. I followed his instructions to the letter, walking, going left, walking some more, going left again, and then making the final leg of the trip towards a massive pair of stone doors at the end of the last passage. Two burly guards standing in front of them pointed their pikes at me as I approached, their faces wrinkled with scowls of suspicion.
“You here for the eggs?” one of them grunted.
“Blimey! Why else would I be ‘ere, ya great stupid mongoloid?”
“I… think he’s drunk, Cavill,” said the other bemusedly.
“Is he, now? Well… this should be amusing.” The first guard bared a crooked, toothless grin. “Alright, boy, go ahead inside. But first, you have to say the magic password. ‘Eka lífa wiol du Varden’.”
“And just what the bloody ‘ell is that s’posed ta mean?”
“It’s an oath. It simply means ‘I live for the Varden’. Say it and you can come in.”
“A’ight. EEKAH LIVE-A WHY-ALL DOO-VARDEN!”
“No… eka lífa wiol du Varden.”
“Eekah leeva-”
“Close enough. In you go.”
Immensely pleased with myself, I went. Pushing open the stone doors, I glanced back at the guards. “Nice blokes, you are. I’ll save some omelette fer ya.”
Whatever the reply might have been was deafened by the boom of the doors slamming closed. I glanced around the room, my eyes widening in pure awe. These had to be the best-looking chicken eggs I’d ever seen in my life! They all came in pretty jewel tones, with the exception of some muddy brown ones, and were all the size of rocks. Big ones. Maybe they were turkey eggs. The air seemed to pulsate, making something at the back of my mind alarmed, but I ignored it. I stepped closer to the eggs, reaching out to brush my fingers against a pale silver one. Screw eating- I could make some heavy moolah with the things! Tasty jewelled eggs, all for sale for thousands, millions of crowns. I could open my own restaurant, even Galbatorix himself might…
An enormous snarl literally knocked me off my feet. I fell knee-first onto the sand, clapping my hands over my ears to stop the sound. But it didn’t help- the roar seemed to be coming from inside my head. I winced at the pain, willing it to stop. After what seemed like hours, but could have only been seconds, the growl faded away. But I still felt a massive weight, physically and mentally, pressing me to the ground.
The eggs are not for taking, said a deep, old voice in my head.
“Who are you?” I asked out loud.
You may touch them, but you may not take them.
“Do you like omelette?”
Touch, but do not take. The weight went away, and the voice fell silent, leaving me blinking and confused. Shaking, I pulled myself to my feet, and started to touch each of the eggs in turn. Something forced me to do it, some primal urge, and for some unfathomable reason, I listened to it. I didn’t think about omelettes. I didn’t think about booze. I picked up an egg, held it, felt it, then put it down again and moved on to the next one. I had no clue how long I was at it. But after some time, I put down a deep violet egg and felt hugely satisfied with myself. I’d probably picked up every egg in the chamber, I realized. I collapsed onto the sand, suddenly feeling enormous, sweeping fatigue engulf me. I let my eyes flutter closed, and slept.
After some time, I heard, Hey.
What? Morning already? Captain, let me sleep…
I said, hey!
Go away.
Don’t make me take drastic measures.
Silence.
You asked for it.
Sharp pain shot up my arm, and my eyes opened wide. Enraged, I tried to sit up, but the sight that met me froze me in place. An enormous, unblinking pair of reptilian eyes was staring right into my own.
Like I said, you asked for it.
Words;; 1090
Muse;; Okay, but I was EXHAUSTED!
Thoughts;; Could be better, but with how busy I am, this is prolly the best I can do.[/size]
