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Post by Elvorn on Apr 5, 2009 14:06:09 GMT -5
This section courtesy of Joukai, our amazing Ninja friend.
-Just because "A wizard did it", doesn't mean I can have a rail gun in a medieval setting. -I may not guess who's back, back, back, back again. -I may not end every sentence with "and then I'll baptize your family in FLAME". -When playing steampunk games, I may not build a coal-powered rocket launcher. -I am not the funk. -Just like how I'm not allowed to play a character with no flaws, I may not play a character with no good attributes. -During the high school RP, I may not continually call the high school "Columbine Secondary", whether that's it's name or not. -No linking to the 'chan. Seriously. -No linking to lemonparty, either. -Don't try and google those. I beg you. -If the group comes across a dead body, I may not shoot it in the legs while screaming "DANCE, RAGDOLL, DANCE!!!". -"Stephen Colbert would let me do it" does not mean you can here. I don't even know how Stephen Colbert is relevant. Oh- And comments are totally welcome. -I may not start up a RP within the RP. -If someone asks me where we are, I may not reply with "THIS IS SPARTA!!!" -I am not allowed to claim that Mickey Mouse is the last Horcrux. No matter how much it's true. -If someone asks me where we're going to eat tonite, I may not reply with the obligatory meme. -I may not write every other word in lolspeak. -"Shoop da Whoop" is not my battle cry. -This is not a PvP server. If anything, it's a RP server. I will not end every single qoute with: She kicked him with a high heel -Talking like Shakespeare is taboo. I don't care how realistic it is, no one can freaking understand you. - I may not powerplay and make other people characters sing barney songs. -Yes, we've seen the Leeroy Jenkins video. -Yes, we thought it was funny the first time. -No, we don't think it's funny the twelfth time. -If people hated it in the seventies, I may not quote it. -Should I name my character "Bill", I may not name my horse "Monica"; And I may not ride it all day long. -I must keep my scathing political humor to IRC. -I may not start flame wars over pickle crunchy-ness. -My name may not be an adjective. - the macalana is not cool and nor will it ever be. and dancing it backwards doesn't make it any better. -I am not, too smexy for that intro, too smexy for that int-ro's going to leeeeave. -"Baby cage matches" are inappropriate. -I may not start a "grammar holocaust". -Ukalis are not pillows and therefore should not be used in pillowfights. -The internet is not a series of toobez. -If I doublepost,I have to kill of one off them -I may not "accidentally" destrpy another character. -I may not sing songs from "Elite Beat Agents". -My character may not go insane every time he hears the word "and". -Same for "The", "Hi", and "I". -Improvised weapons must be something you would use in real life. -my character also shoul not go insane with the word but is mentioned -No porridge. -My character cannot use attacks from the pokémon series. -I may not demand a "Man-wich" whenever I enter a building. -My sword may not be bigger than I am. -My chracter cannot use ooc to say their thoughts about what's happening in the RP. -no setting people on fire when they say 'I'm so mad I want to explode' -my charrie can't pull weapons out of nowhere - My character may not be related to Jesus. -I may not install robot parts to help myself win dance-offs. -I may not cross breed a cat and a dragon depite how 'wicked' the outcome would be -Dear GOD! Put the halfling DOWN! -My character cannot see into the future of the RP. Therefore, my character cannot tell people what to do in order to "prevent that form happening". -"Disco Infiltraitor" is not a class. -I cannot make real chickens preform "The Chicken Dance". -No, I may not play as He-Man. -sonic burp's are'nt a means of attack -I may not casually order the blood of the innocents at a bar. - In harry potter roleplays I may not sing I'm off of to see the wizard' when sent to the office -I may not speak with sub-titles, nor dubbed-over. - I also may not tell first years that snape is santa clause -I may not ask for clarification on why porridge is not allowed. -Should I ask why porridge is not allowed, I must report for termination. - I also cannot bring HK-47 to a muffin roleplay just to see the muffin carnage -I may not paint the words "Kill-booth" on phone booths. -I may not bring out a magical dictionary on every animal with stone legs, glass eyes, and flag tails. -Should muffin carnage result, I may not make jokes about how you should've put less salt in. -I may not ask if my role play companions are actually artificially intelligent humanoid robots, nor do I have an obligation to answer if I myself am asked. - I also may not take bets on what flavor will die first. for it it tactless, and not nice. -I may not ask to join as an ungulate. -"-chan" is not a suffix. -I may not ask if the role play is being conducted in color, black-&-white, or sepia. -If someone has a better character than me, I may not accuse them of hacking. -I may not simply sit on people who annoy me. -when in a muffin roleplay a fork is a deadly weapon -I may not hire people to carry my character around, then shoot them when I'm done being carried. -No playing as Optimus Prime, either. -My little old witch lady character may not headbang until she dies. -"Throw ally" is banned. am not aloud to say I had Mexican food on Chinese new year -High School Musical 2 is punishable by death. -I may not shoot decapitated clowns from a cannon if one with coulrophobia is nearby. If not, I may. -If I'm in a nature RP, I may not cross the streams. -Shmurple is not a word no matter how much I want it to be. -I ate Barney last night and then Elmo shot me- -Neither is "Opiupple" -Nor "Pandle" -I may not poke people continually as a form of attempted suxcxde. -Nor "Crapple". when i am Bella Malfoy in harry potter next generation rp's I am not aloud to drop trunks on my syblings heads. -Sock donkies are a stupid idea, and I am not to discuss them. - a wizard can not turn a chariot into a tank -"They Did It in Half-Life!" Is no excuse to make a Rube Goldberg machine out of explosives. -There were no port-i-potties in the 1600s -I am not to quote obscure comics as the "source of my power". -I can't listen to MCR in medevil rp's -I may not challenge Zarkoth, master of death, to a dance-off. -Nor are you aloud to bring said borther back to life as a mentally unstabile squib -And besides- he's got some sweet moves. You'd lose anyways. -I am not to hide bubble wrap under a layer of grass and watch. -wolfes cant fly hades does /not/ want to play 'ping-pong' nor should I continuelly whine to him about it. -"No time to explain!" doesn't mean I can get away with anything. -Nor does 'It's too complex for your feeble mind to understand' -or am i able to say that I can bring people back from the dead and make them a mentally unstabile squib. -Kittens+Tennis= NO! -watches are not timemachines Nor am I too try to convert one into a time machine to bring back Atilla the hun. -I am not to give out free cell phones to medieval peasants. - I am not to purposefully mispronounce Jesus Christ with a Spanish accent. -Jesters do not have groupies. -I am not to devote my role play counter part to xkcd. However much I may be compelled to. -I will not try to one-up the evil genius in his plans to destroy the world. -If I ever find myself about to murder someone, I will kill first and rant later. nor am i able to say that Tom Felton is way more cuter than Daniel Randcliff when someone is dieing after i drop something on their head- -Chickens do not have a bloodlust for Yoda. Nor do they spit-fire. -superman doesn't belong in a gifted highschool -If someone leaves the game, I may not rush to desecrate that person's character. - I am not to 'hacx-0rs ur sw0r|}' in a medieval role play - I may not force some one to try my sample cookies, no matter how delicious the laced cookies are. -my charrie is not to tell others that their life is a game -I may not take compliments as insults. -Number 3 and number 4 did not have a secrect affair -I am not to magically break out a lute and dive head-first into a ballad about a legendary elephant seal and his search for his bucket. -Nor may I take anything people say as a superbly flattering compliment, especially if they are describing their loathe for me with words and a gun. -I may no create a cult in a highschool rp. -I can't tell people that wormtail and voldemort want to have an affair with them -I may not play the theme song from MST3K -I may not claim we are all in my lucid dream. And then wake up. - I may not break into a high-stepping musical number, complete with spotlights and sequins, no matter how 'down and bluuuue' we all are. -I may not clone Bill Gates -Nor may I take over the world with a clone of Bill Gates -Just because I start singing, doesn't mean everyone else has to, too -I may not ask if the town elder has considered Botox. - I may not start a hip-hop group in Medieval games. Nor shall I start a gang. -I may not copy all these lists for private and possibly commerical use. " - I am not allowed to sing "Hey There Delilah" in a medieval fantasy role-play, considering New York City wasn't around then." -Nor am I allowed to sing the extremely vulgar alternate version of that song. -I may not order a cappuccino in a tavern. Unless it's on sale. -I may not copy all these lists for private and possibly commerical use. " -Taken. Put on the list. Can't stop me. -I am not aloud to have my secrect idenity be the Kool-Aid Man -Nor can it be Elmo. -"I'd hit it" is not an appropriate response after teh village leader describes the great looming evil. Especially if it's a killer goat on a boat. -not everything is a clue -I am not to try and use hand gestures to convey various text emoticons. I have a face. I can use that. -I am not to repeat others in my immediate surroundings and add 'THAT'S WHAT THEY /WANT/ YOU TO THINK' as a sentence suffix. -I may not wear a eyepatch, a pirate hat, and an inflatable parrot while saying 'LOL, Limewire' and singing about piracy. -A Yellow is not a fruit -"Pwned" is not an aprropriate response to "I'm pregnant". -I can not give out depressing fortune cookies in front of a East Asian restaurant in a modern role play. HOWEVER. I can eat depressing fortune cookies in front of an East Asian restaurant in a modern role play. -if I can't think of anything to type I am not too begin about East Asian restaurants and fortune cookies -I can not have a non-emo vampire. -I cannot have a shapeshifting demon. -Said shapeshifting demon may not be stronger than the princess. -"U LOOZ DA RP" is never the right thing to say under any circumstances... Unless they did, in fact, lose the role play. -"Yo Ho, Yo Ho a pirates life for me" Does /not/ have a double meaning -Am not to spurt Latin gibberish in a conversational lull. -And definately not Japanese gibberish. -Nor am I allowed to use Japanese words in the middle of an English conversation -I am not to grow spaghetti on trees as that would totally flop role play economy and cause mass unemployment. We do NOT want a hobo revolution in role plays, kthnx. -I am not to ask for a potty break -I may not speak any language that people don't understand. -No, my DNA lab character may not be cold-blooded. -No, that character may not die from extreme heat. -I may not make another character with the name Leon. -I may not nibble on my foe's nose and claim I am Jack Frost. -The ideal way to eat soup is with a sthingy. -There is no sthingy. -I may not claim that there is a sthingy. -Play-dough is not a surgical tool. -In a medieval role play where I want to look wise, I am not to take two contradictory statements and fuse them into a big run on sentence before rewording it to be as vague and as confusing as possible so that I can repeat it often with one eyebrow raised and a look of smug superiority on my face. Nor will I steal from Basic Instructions dot com. -I am not to be surprised that I spelled everything right the first time. -I am not to claim that Snape is a stud-muffin. -I am not to make puppets out of deformed cadavers. No matter how enticing. -I may not sue for criminal harassment. -'Because I said so' is not a vaild explaination. -I am not to use any word longer than "Eviscerate." -I am not to use French in my dialogue. -I may not ask if there is a gumball machine in the village. -I may not start a high school roleplay with waking up, destroying the alarm clock, and staring in the mirror. -If I am smart, I should not start a high school roleplay at all. I many not impale myself upon a anime character's hair. -On the same note, I may not hide daggers in my overtly gelled and ridiculously bright hair, that, in all respect, ought to have broken my neck years ago. -I may not start an intro with a quotation mark. -I may not end an intro with "His name? '---'" -I may not start a high school role play with a lecture from my mom on my broken alarm clock. I may not set an alarm on my laptop and break it in a role play. -"I didn't" is not a valid excuse for killing another character's parents. -I may not object to having someone say I killed their parents. -I may not object to having someone say I killed their dog. -I may not object to having someone say I killed them. -I may not quote the president and try to make it make sound intelligent. I may not say 'I see dead people' ever time a vampire character is used. -I may not play a character that is not a 'phile. -I may not claim to be cherry-scented -I may not start my introduction with a me waking up and thinking I'm still in a dream. Nor may I throw fireballs at my school or surf the air. -I may not wear clothes from an old people store. Even if I am an octogenarian. -If I use wolfspeak, I will immediately be shot. -I may not wear big hats. -I may not shout 'page pwn,' no matter how bad the urge is -I am not allowed to be "the chosen one." -I may not eat chracters who are bigger than mine. -I may not start spitting out random song lyrics. -I may not claim to 'be the most indiez of youz' by citing a shirt that states love for bands that do not exist. -I should not, but do anyway: -Play a werewolf in vampire role plays. -Play a demon in any role play. -Play a gifted. -I may not do all of the above at the same time. -I may not make characters who aren't an emo or a prep, under the pain of death. -I may not warn people that my character totally 'roxors their soxors.' -I may not start a cannibalistic game of jelly blobs. -I may not use homestar memes -I may not break out into a Trogdor anthem while standing in line. -I may not think that the Killers are British. - I may not randomly start singing /The Phantom of the Opera/. - I may not be half of more than two things. - I may not see a "Teens injected with Animal DNA" thread without going inside and pointing out how idiotic the concept of injecting DNA is. I may not give an usul shuriken, no matter how funny that may be... -When filling out an application I may not circle both genders, no matter how I want to. -I may not spam my own board. -I may not spam someone elses board. -I may not point out spelling mistakes. -When asked, "What do you want to be when you grow-up" I may not say a Unicorn with a muffin fetish. -I may not put on opaque white 'zombie' contacts and travel on a subway -When seeing the topic, "Genetically Altered!!! {We have Cookies!}" I may not laugh about the questionable status of said cookies. -"Drunken Chaotic" is not an alignment. Nor may my character start sobbing and whispering "herm afrodite" in a suspicious manner -I may not use my scroll of gen-o-cide on the most common race in the group. -I may not attempt a beehive I must not insist the group search for the amulet of yendor -I may not join as Dr.McNinja. -No matter how much the force compels me too. I may not have my character hit his head and start to believe he is a female body builder named Jessie. -During the moment of truth, I may not say "Screw the force" and use the targeting array. -I shall not decapitate all those who take movie appearences of a book as actual discriptions of said chracters/settings. -If someone invites me to come hunting, I may not show up expecting we were going hunting for babies -If someone invites me to come hunting, I may not show up expecting we were going hunting for babies I must not crush everything good in the world. -I may not offer a dismembered limb instead of a cookie I may not write an essay on the differences between the roleplay world and modern dramatic plays for my final paper. -I may not hold a funeral for an inanimate object and require everyone present to say part of the eulogy at gunpoint. -Aliens do not exist. Even if they did, they wouldn't show up at a gifted boarding school. -I may not announce to the group when it is time for me to "gopottynow kthnx" -This is not something the group wants to hear, no matter how much I think the contrary. -Should we find the amulet of yendor, I may not steal the manual and leave my companions alone in the dungeon, with their memory of the 30+ commands fading quickly -I may not ask if I may borrow a fellow character's brains for a moment or two. -I may not be a Pizza guy delivering a Pizza to a buch of geek's lil RolePlaying game. I may not have my charater shapeshift into a squirrel and start throwing nuts at passerby, nor may I have him shapeshift into a chimp and toss something much more disgusting. -I may not bind my soul to you and then hearthstone to you. -No matter how enticing the amulet of yendor is. -Subsequently, I may not kill you for the amulet of yendor. -I may not then proceed to steal that characters brains, if I am denied their usage, despite not being allowed to ask in the first place. -I am not a human pin-cushion -Nor should I conspire to be one. -Nor should I make you one. -I may not play a gourmonde mind flayer. - I may not smash the cookie jar with a sledgehammer. - I may not smash the window with a sledgehammer. - I may not smash the television set with a sledgehammer. - I may not smash the stereo system with a sledgehammer. - I may not smash /anything/ with a sledgehammer I may not play a zombie who eats said brains. -I may not combine RS, world of warcraft, and dark age of camelot and say I'm a 'battlemageinfiltratormage.' I may NOT, under ANY circumstances, have my charecter be the cheer leading captain, or have her be able to heal herself when she falls off a bridge. She will also, NEVER be named Claire. -Having my character quote TV shows is not 'cool'. -If someone creates a Detention rp, I cannot go in and say, "Simpsons did it first". -I must talk in English. -I cannot poke people for misspelling words and using bad grammar. -If someone dies, I do not say 'Game Over!' I may not have my character claim to be old friends with another's character, especially if their character is a young child. -I may not list 'Dice Stacking' as one of my powers in a gifted role play - I may not have a brain-stealing character named Sylar -I may not stab people in the neck with a pretzal. -I shall not laugh for more than a few minutes at Hermione/Harry shippers. -I shall not call them delusional. -I shall not ask them if the last chapter of DH was an anvil-sized hint. -I shall NEVER use the same ol' anime character off of Google as a refrence pic of my character. -Especially in a high school roleplay. -Especially if it's that picture of the girl with the white hair and the sword -I may not stop a role play in which I am the key figure at its climax to go to walmart for a sale of toilet paper. -I am not to worship google in the middle of a role play I will not bring in da funk, bring in da noise, no matter how funk and noise deficent the rolepay happens to be. -I may not plot-hijack, even if there is no plot. -I may not rap. -All of my slow replies are due to an internet crash. Not writer's block. Ever. -I will not complain about someone having the same first name as me. -I will also not make stupid jokes. I will not join a Harry Potter roleplay as Voldemort and kill everyone in sight. -I am not to ask for a secretary, a p.r. agent, and/or a coffee boy when an application for a role play is accepted. Unless they offer a secretary, p.r. agent, and/or a coffee boy -I am not to cry for a solid twenty minutes when a dear RP friend has to go and "leaves me with these amateurs". -If I need to tell someone that a loved on is dead, I may not say "I'm sorry, your _____ died.... Of DEATH." -I may not use a pile of bodies as a makeshift bed, fire wood, or a refrigerator. -Nor wall, and then state that this is, indeed, Sparta. I will not, in the middle of a serious and well written rolelay, suddenly decide to have my character go insane and believe he is a balloon animal. When joining a gifted rp, my chracter should not be "The duck wisperer’. -I may not make my wolf get slurpies in the middle of a role play to check if my posts are being read thoroughly If a character is angry at my character for something that happened in the past, I may not have him say "Nya Nya, I made your life a living hell, Nya!" -I may not name my characters anything longer than "Leonard Damien Alec Kruschev the Third" for fear of getting low ratings for names. -I may not become evidence of spontaneous human combustion in a role play. -I may not do the moonwalk. -I may not declare that Thriller was a good song, regardless of how true it was. -I may not comment on how awsome the name Alec is for medieval roleplays I may not have my character have an irrational fear of blondes. -I may not ask if the role play characters can do a remake of Thriller à la the "Thriller Inmates". I may not attempt upside-down emoticons. *I may NOT under any circumstances blow someone up just because they looked at my character…..I will call them Consumidor de Gatitos though.
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These are mine:
- No character is instantly qualified to be a faction leader. Even if that faction is the local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous. - "They didn't say not to" is not a legitimate reason. - The blinding holy axemaceswordstaffspearknifebow of doom, death and destruction is forbidden to mortal RPer's; immortal nerds may use it for good at their discretion. - The admin is to be worshiped and revered at all times, members who make a derogatory statement about the admin are to be shot on the spot. - Green is not a viable hair color. - There is no face-lifts in a medieval RP. No matter how much your character needs one. - Jeans have not yet been invented. - There were only two half-elves in history. They both came to sticky ends. More than one half-elf per RPer is illegal. - Dwarf-kull half-and-halfies are not in ANY way related to good RPing. -ahem- - Guns may not be used to make a quick end to a thread that you didn't want to be in. - High speed car chases would be nice. But hard/impossible to do on horses. Get that through your heads! - You cannot use "The Sneeze of Death" more than once in a thread. - Elves don't need to use bows. - Why does every thread need to be titled "A Chance Encounter"? - The name 'The Eviscerator' does not make your character sound cooler. - Video games have not yet been invented. - Elemental wizards are juvenile. - You may not name your character after a villain in a Manga show. - Never mention the forbidden word. - The forbidden word is not BUTTERFLYMETOPITUS! - You didn't hear that from me. - You may not use the forbidden word to kill every other character in a thread. - Werehalfling wizard spy with mohawk is not a character option. - Swearing is forbidden unless it is in dwarvish. - Purdy does not sum-up your characters appearance. - You may not play as a Nazgul in a Harry Potter RP. - In fact, don't play in a Harry Potter RP at all. - Nazgul does not mean unlimited power. - Supernatural summoning ability = no. - You may not read a book prophesying your own death. - On the other hand it is permissible to read a book prophesying you will be horribly maimed by a train. - Food fights do not count as an emergency. - Food fights do not count at all. - Food fights are not permissible. - Shmurple is still not a word. - If you don't understand that, you don't deserve to. - Stab is repetitive if used more than three times a sentence. - Cool doesn't actually qualify as a one word personality write up. - You may not refer to the admin by anything less than "Your Ultimateness". - Never, ever try to adapt a highschool RP character for fantasy purposes. - Never, ever make a highschool RP character at all. - You may not try to use explosives no matter how tempting. - I, on the other hand, may. - You may not ask why. - Shmurple is still not a word. - "The dwarf who loved me" is a bad idea for a plotline. - If you won't have fun with a character, think of that before you make them, as opposed to after the first three posts with another RPer. - The C-box is holy ground. No speaking of half-kull there. - The arrows are not unlimited. - You may not spark a clan war over the fact that you burped at a tribal meeting. - You may not have the power of levitation until the age of six. - "Watery eyes" is not a superpower. - You may not randomly quote Yoda. - You may not speak in mando'a unless you know the language. - No, they are not "Cute". - Flying dachshunds are not a viable familiar. - Five-hundred grade thermal plastoid is not for sale in a black market llama spy guild. - Amoeba sounds cooler than it actually is. - Krup the destroyer will not get you if you fail in your quest. - You may not flee unless there is an enemy. - Scary rodents do not count as enemies. - They do, on the other hand, count as a reason to jump on a chair and scream like a little girl. - That is also not a super power. - You are not capable of creating a hobbitapult. - You may not try it anyway. - If you do, point it away from the C-box. - You may not name your character after the crocodile hunter. - Nor anyone from Lord of the Rings. - Darth is not a title. - If that thought even entered your head, leave now. - You may not create a character that looks like Viggo Mortenson. - You may not play as "The Chosen One". - You amy not mak fun of ohter peopls speling. - You may not fight with a staple gun. - If you have ever tried to shoot a staple gun at something, you will know why. - "The Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf" is a bad idea for a thread name. - No one may have the power of summoning potted plants to destroy their enemies. - There are no cell phones. - Not even with magic. - Doctor Who is not really in Alagaesia; and if he is, you may not RP him. - If Angmor doesn't win every award in all the catagories, you are allowed to powerplay his characters into ordering a "Manwitch" at a bar. - The admin may have the ability to summon potted plants, but only to tastefully decorate the palace of the evil antagonist. - Nail guns don't work either. - You may not use chemistry to blow you opponent's mind. - Emma's characters cannot -GLOMP- their enemies, no matter how much she wants them to.
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Here's Volcon's addition:
-Quote conversatsions aren't fun. -If your in a cat rp, fishing for alagators is not an option -Actually just don't -Highschool Musical can't be rped, nor should you try -Highschool rps should be shunned, but expecially the musical kind -Despite how appealing it sounds making puns from poorly worded sentances is not acceptable -Cows are evil -Shmurple is still not a word -Niether is Yeppers -Diffusing a bomb is bad, Defusing is allowed, Bombs aren't though -Flipping a coin to decide one's fate is only cool in batman, therefore don't -I'm not your 'homie' -Nor is anyone in a midievel setting -Jack Black can't be a thin elf I'm sorrry, but it just doesn't work out like that. -When riding a horse there is no way to 'Engage forward thrusters' -Mando isn't spoken by elves, neither is french -Cats don't hide in hats -Slave traders don't pick up every random person they see -Hookers don't count -I may not be ambushed in the middle of surda for no good reason. -I may not make a Dragon that is emo -Vampires still can't be happy though -I may not make a character intending to make him into a shade when it clearly says NO MORE SHADES -Fresca is god and don't you forget it -I may not touch it -I may not touch anyway -I may not burn my friends just because they think I'm an arsonist
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Serenia's:
-If you are more spazzy than Serenia, you may use the word 'shmurple' -Throwing a small child at someone is not a food fight -Even if you are Elvorn -No quizzes from myspace are allowed within three metres of the cbox -If Angmor kills boxy one more time by saying 'do I talk too much?', you are hereby allowed to poke him to death or serious injury -The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not to be used as a name unless you have permission from Emma -Speaking more than three languages in one thread is prohibited -FOR GONDOR is not your battle cry -Neither is FOR GALADRIEL -FOR ANGMOR is plausible, but not advised -Dear God, point the machete ELSEWHERE
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And finally, Lily's:
-In that case, Serenia, Emma may use the word 'shmurple'. -You may not claim to be the king/queen of nukes. -Unless you are Elvorn. -Angmor may not alienate us even though we do it to him. That is our job. -Serenia is the only one capable of hatching a hot pink dragon. -What is the 'happy dance'? -You may not kill every enemy by stabbing him in the heart or likewise. -Technically, a dragon doesn't throw up it's heart of hearts. It just exhales it. -You may not call Briae 'Br'ika'. -However, Em'killa is valid in some cases. -You are not allowed to jump off a cliff when you are on fire. -Yes, that is a consequential rule. -Your father cannot always be a mass murderer, bent on dominating the world. -Nor a handsome king with unlimited power. -Not all your characters have to: -Have a special talent -Be emotionally scarred -Have a tragic past -If you don't follow this, I am allowed to hunt you down. -Your character cannot sigh every time they cannot come up with an educated answer.
Feel free to add on guys! We need to crack down on those annoying RPer habits!
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Ser'ika-chaaan!
New Member
I AM NOW IN LOVE WITH STAR TREK BUT CAN'T FIND AVATARS THAT DON'T HAVE KIRK AND SPOCK DOING IT.
Posts: 5
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Post by Ser'ika-chaaan! on Apr 11, 2009 23:10:05 GMT -5
OMG. It says '-chan' is not a suffix. I just noticed that. LOL. And that I'm not allowed to name a character after the villain in a manga. Guilty. ROTFLMBO!
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Post by Elvorn on Dec 9, 2009 11:09:50 GMT -5
I just thought that this was a great idea by the Joukbox and wanted to resurect it. Feel free to post your own 'I May Not' here.
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Post by Elvorn on Jan 21, 2010 22:50:49 GMT -5
Remembered and cherished, vod.
Anyway, I thought that to get some more on here, you guys might like it better if you could post the 'I May Not's up in ones or twos as they come to you, not in the enormous list style above. Therefor, with the responsibility of being the caretaker of this thread, I shall begin.
I may not use past, present and future tense in the same sentance more than once per paragraph.
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Post by Ze Flying Wraithetti Monstress on Jan 22, 2010 2:57:56 GMT -5
I thought these up at 2 in the morning so they're not brillant.
- If Doctor Who is in Alagaesia, he is Emma's property. - Unless he's Matt Smith. - Your characters are never as good-looking as their siggies are. - Not every guy is a musclebound He-Man. - Nor is every girl an icy femme fatale. - Chewbacca cannot be your character's sidekick, no matter how cool he is. - Ronon Dex, however, can. - You may not reference other sci fi and fantasy works, no matter how tempting it is. - Unless you're unrealistic. Like me. =D - Shruikan may not be nicknamed 'Shruiky-Poo'. - Nor can he have an English accent. - Paris Hilton is NOT a good face claim, regardless of how hot she is. - Neither is Pamela Anderson. - Princesses do squat. - Your character cannot be instructed in the Ways of the Force. - Emma is not allowed to hijack every thread she joins. - You are free to shoot her for doing so. - Underneath 'Sex' in profile apps, you may not put 'Yes, please!' - I may break all these rules, considering I've already broken most of them. - Angmor may be mocked for being an AI. - Your character cannot solve a Rubik's cube in five seconds with their toes and blindfolded. - If your character tries porridge, he/she is obligated to then try the chairs and the beds. - Stop making all the heroes handsome sociopaths. - Stop making all the heroines redheads. Seriously, blonde Wonder Women are almost extinct these days. - Nemo Ramsey doesn't count since she's mulatto. And she's an orangehead anyway. - Not every chick HAS to lust after Murtagh. - If someone else's character is beating yours in any sort of battle, you may not have them whisper, "The Force is strong with this one..." - Licking icicles does not make you badass. - Neither does sucking eggs. - You may not have a Grey Folk. - Chicken wire isn't actually made out of chickens - And steel wool does NOT come from sheep from 'the wrong side of the tracks'. - Quoting Shakespeare is unnecessary. - I am sick of white characters with Japanese names. - Humans are not born with green/blue/pink hair. - You cannot have a katana in a European-style medieval rp for no reason. - All threads between Emma and the Cap'n contain sex. - A lot of you probably just went looking for these threads. - One-thread true love must burn in hell. - Why does every female character end up preggers? - Your male character cannot get preggers. - There were no sex change operations in the Dark Ages. - Not all members of royalty are blindingly gorgeous. - No character should be blindingly gorgeous. - You may not base your character off a historical figure. - You may not make a non-Irish leprechaun. - Nor can he not have a hidden pot o' gold. - A sixteen-year-old cannot have mastered all forms of combat. - Your character may not have a grey fish named Gandalf, and especially cannot replace him with a white fish after he 'dies'. - Angmor is God.
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Post by Elvorn on Jan 22, 2010 9:02:54 GMT -5
I may not use 'Japanese Foot Binding' as a special attack to incapacitate my enemies. I may not walk up to another character in a thread and tell them everything there is to know about them then walk off muttering to myself. As much as we would like them to be, bows cannot and should not be used as sniper weapons. Yes, you may call Angmor and I for doing that. I may, on the other hand, use a crossbow, as they were invented by this time and were accurate, and can be called the first weapon capable of sniping. I may not have any of my characters make a steam-powered flamethrower. I may not invent electricity. Not even with magic. Shmurple is still not a word. So take it out of your post. Now.
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Post by Angmor on Jan 23, 2010 22:47:24 GMT -5
I may not toss my character through a large plate-glass window without so much as a scratch.
I my not use slang terms such as 'dude' or 'chick' or 'Yeah' in an in-character post.
I may not refer to crossbow bolts as 'bullets'.
Neither may I have a clip-fed, rapid fire crossbow, cool as that might be.
Or use the term 'cool', except to refer to temperature.
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Post by Elvorn on Jan 26, 2010 22:45:14 GMT -5
I may not 'Pwn' anyone in, or out, of character.
I may not cast 'throw rotten tomato' at my enemies.
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Post by Ze Flying Wraithetti Monstress on Jan 28, 2010 21:29:14 GMT -5
- Evil characters are love. - But not, and 95% of them end up doing this, if they end up switching over to the good side. - I may shoot you for this. - Not every medieval setting has to take place in medieval Europe, most often medieval England. - You are not Zuul. - Imperial characters are not necessarily evil, and Varden characters are not necessarily goody-two-shoes. - You are not the Lord of the Dance either. - 'Banana' is an acceptable icebreaker. - However, 'I eat poop' is not. - You may not use your dachshund as a paintbrush. - Letting the awed children touch your hero/heroine's sword will cause it to become sticky, oily, and eventually rusty. Even if it's made out of the uber-maximum ulti-titanium black iron from the Pits of Orc-Feces. - That being said, a HEROINE is a female hero. Not HEROIN. That is the stuff you shoot up, and good characters generally don't do that stuff. - Adjective-noun names such as 'BeautifulQueen', 'FuriousHunter' and 'AppleButt' aren't cool. End of story. - Every evil character has black hair. WHY? - Angmor is still God!
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Post by Elvorn on Jan 28, 2010 22:15:02 GMT -5
- I may not name my character anything out of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Star Trek, Twilight or Redwall. - I may not name my character after a Rapper. - I may not dual-wield longswords, no matter how cool that may be. It just isn't possible. - No. Not even if your character is the strongest man on earth. If that were true, you still wouldn't be as powerful as dragon-riders and elves, and they don't even do it. - You may not play D&D in the RP, ever. - Your characters may not be verbatim copying of a WoW stat sheet. That's not how it works. - Hybrid races are just weird. - Even if you are only one-third elven high princess with an awesome sword, you may not be superhuman. - You may not make a character, once the admin has expressly told you not to make a shade, with the purpose of making him a shade IC shortly after. - Small children are not a viable ranged weapon. - Your three foot knives may not be stored in your boots. - No, I don't care if they did it in an action movie, your character may not keep razor-sharp needles in their hair. - I may not create a character with a gasping cough, nor may I have him wheeze menacingly at other characters and quote general Grievous. - Nor may I do that with Darth Vader quotes. - My character may not be Mexican, despite how awesome the food would be. - My character's battle cry cannot, and should not, be: 'Remember the Alamo!'
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Post by Angmor on Jan 29, 2010 10:05:59 GMT -5
'For teh lulz' is not a viable motivation for a character's chaotic actions. Small children can be a viable ranged weapon, so long as one knows the proper technique for their propulsion. This comes from personal experience. I may not download the evil plans from Galbatorix's iphone. For one thing, it's encrypted. 'Stupify!' is not a workable spell to knock people out of my character's way. 'Thrysta vindr!' on the other hand, is similar in effect to Force push. I may not mount mount crossbows on a dragon, and use them to engage in WWI dogfighting tactics. My character's Skyward Scream cannot be heard throughout the entire world. And even if it was, most people wouldn't pay enough attention to notice. I may not scream the word 'Noooooo!!!' when my character's friend is in trouble. I will be aware of the fact that this would immediately seal his friend's fate, and so instead shout his name.
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Alraunina
New Member
Feathered Mistress
Posts: 14
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Post by Alraunina on Jan 29, 2010 10:34:19 GMT -5
(Yes, I am extremely bad at this)...
- No matter how tempting, it is not acceptable to point and laugh at Eragon's ears whilst chanting "mud blood"
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Post by Angmor on Feb 17, 2010 22:52:25 GMT -5
I may not train a turtle for combat.
Even if they are particularly gifted turtles.
And no, before you ask, mutant turtles are not allowed within a thousand yards of this site.
I may not use water as a soft surface capable of absorbing all impact damage from a fall of any height.
And yes, though primitive explosives are available, they may not have large red timers.
Even with magic.
Nor can they beep.
I may not do a backflip in the middle of a swordfight for no reason whatsoever.
I may not have a character name with more than four apostrophes in it.
I may not make paper airplanes out of parchment.
My character may not have rainbow colored magic.
I may not have my Dragon Rider have his dragon mark on the bottom of his left foot.
The right, however, is negotiable.
My character may not hum their own theme song.
I may not use Google to gain information on my enemies.
I may not have any device capable of Googling.
I may not use the term 'googled.'
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Post by Ze Flying Wraithetti Monstress on Apr 5, 2010 19:48:16 GMT -5
- Eragon's being born out of marriage does not give you the right to call him 'bastard'. - However, his repetitive bitching at Murtagh does. - Murtagh and Eragon don't hate each other because of 'unrequited lust'. - You may not ask Galbatorix who died and made him boss. - Dragons cannot hear your Rider's sexual fantasies. - Using someone's crotch as target practice for archery is not permitted. - Nor is their face, although this is negotiable. - You may not summon a spirit while taking a crap. - You may not kill people and then put their bodies in compromising positions. - Seithr Oil may not be sold as 'an exotic fruit drink' to small children. - Nalgask may not be used to soften a dragon's scales. - Guards are expendable and fun to harass. - But they are NOT interchangeable cannon fodder. - When about to assassinate someone, you must execute it with stealth and not kick their door down, holding an axe and screaming, "SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE!!" - Nemo Ramsey is an exception to this rule. - No one may imitate Nemo Ramsey's accent in mockery of it. - Those who do so receive an immediate blow to the head. With a hammer. - There is no kung fu in Alagaesia. - Not even if your character is Chinese. - Elves do not bounce. More than once. - You may not ask Eragon exactly what kind of dreams he had about Oromis. - Or why he was so interested in seeing how Oromis looked naked. - Galbatorix's title is not "Official Seatwarmer of the Empire." - Even though all he ever does is leave a permanent ass print on the throne. - Angela should not be taught the Chicken Dance. - Or the Polka. - Solembum is not secretly the Cheshire Cat's older, crankier brother. - For the last time, it's a ROBE. Not a dress. - You may not laugh at Oromis and Glaedr when they talk about how they were once a 'great' warrior pair. - AVADA KEVADRA! is not a spell in the Ancient Language. - Neither is EXPELLIARMUS! Or other Harry Potter spells. - Malandra cannot hit on Galbatorix. - Neither can you. He has no sex drive, poor thing. - Unless your first name ends in -ndra, you cannot be naked in public. - You may not do your best to contract diseases in an attempt to wage biological warfare against the Empire. - Solembum won't appreciate scratching under the chin and being called 'Kitty'.
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